Q&A with Senator Eloise Williams CFA, MBA, PHD (Doctor)
(Dont take it too seriously Satire)
Dear Granny, since you are a loyal follower, I decided to do a Q&A in a different way 😊 Thank you so much for your time.
Would you share something more about you with us? What is your name, how old are you and how did you get involved into the stock market?
Hello Silvia and thank you for doing this interview with me. For those who don’t know, my name is Senator Eloise Williams, CFA, MBA, PHD (Doctor),. I’m actually not a real Senator. And I don’t have a CFA, MBA, PHD (Doctor),. Instead I legally changed my name a few years ago to add all of those credentials. This has allowed me to use credentials legally as I actually did not earn any of those. Plus it makes me look incredibly smart.
I am an 87 year old grandmother and I got involved in the stock market a few months ago as a way to supplement my social security income and pension check. Since then my 25 year annualized returns have been north of 50% and I recently launched a hedge fund called Granny Capital Management.
What is your trading style and strategy and are you a consistent trader?
My trading style is simple. I only buy stocks that go up. I have actually never bought a stock that has went down. The day I buy a stock and it goes down is the day I throw in the towel and quit. I also like to trade naked call options because the name is funny. Oh and I own a ton of The United States Oil ETF (“USO”) because it is a blue chip high dividend paying compounder that is backed by the full faith of the United States Government – hence the name.
What is your biggest success in trading?
My biggest success in trading was when I figured out if I flip my computer screen upside down it would eliminate all of my losses. Flipping your computer screen upside down is a lifestyle hack that us new Robinhood traders are using as a margin of safety.
I also like to take an activist approach with any stock I buy. For an example, one time I went long a home builder then threw some grenades at a dam. The dam ended up flooding an entire town and destroying thousands of homes. Nonetheless, the home builder ended up killing it in the subsequent quarter, beating earnings by a mile. If you want to make money in the stock market you need to take control of your own destiny.
What was your biggest struggle you went through in trading and life?
The biggest struggle with investing is trying to figure out how to spend all of this money I am making. Also some days I get really tired of all of the money I am making which can be really exhausting for an old grandmother like me. Making money investing is easy and sometimes I want a bigger challenge.
My biggest struggle in life is my neighbor under me. Her name is Ethel Hampton and she is an ornery old coot! I have done many things to make her disappear from my life like greasing the floors with butter so she would slip and cutting her break lines in her car. Despite all of my attempts to rid of this woman she still persists.
What are your hobbies outside of trading? How do you keep yourself mentally fit?
My favorite hobby is drinking alcohol and smoking cigars. I also like to go to the Wednesday bingo and sit by my best-friend Emma Goldman where we cheat on bingo, hit on people and talk revolution.
In terms of keeping myself mentally fit, on Saturdays I fill my car with cans of black beans and throw them at people on roller-blades. I can throw a mean can of black beans.
I noticed you have a website The Stonk Market would you like to share what is the idea behind that website and why you started it?
I started The Stonk Market as a joke in January of 2020. My plan was to use the website as an outlet for my interest in writing. I wrote a few satirical articles in the past that did well and thought a satire site focused on finance and investing could have some legs.
Since January the site has surpassed all of my expectations, with over 30 freelance writers and approaching one million page views. I have put bids out for The Wall Street Journal, CNBC, The Onion and Morning Brew. So far none of those publications have accepted my merger offer. I might just become a corporate raider and take those over.
What advice would you give the new trader out there on Twitter?
Make up your own financial ratios and fudge numbers. Not only will you look incredibly smart but you will make a ton of money.
What else would you like to share with the readers on my blog?
I would like to tell everyone that John W. B. Rich (Wealthy) is the absolute worst!
Thank you so much for your time, I wish you all the best with your projects Granny Capital and The Stonk Market!